Reintroducing the Sex Pest

These days, you can't pick up a newspaper, or log onto the Internet, without reading about molester this, abuse that, blah blah blah.  That's why we at the BRG are reintroducing the humble sex pest; that bastion of American culture in the days before the sexual revolution made man-haters of women like me.

Take, for example, this page from the June 1959 issue of Girl Watcher magazine:

"A yummy nicknack attracts your attention in a restaurant, you haul her off home for a trial run as one of your collector's pieces."

Forget Match.com, that's a real man for you *sigh*

This is why I am founding the Sex Pest Association of Maryland.  So, if you would like to sign up for SPAM, post your e-mail address in the comments section.  I'll make sure you receive daily updates in your inbox.

Introducing Albion the Grey

Albion the Grey of The Wizards Brotherhood of the Amherst Grove pledging his alliegence (sic) to King Arthur and asking him for his protection for both the Grove and for the Brotherhood on their pending quest:

What a knob jockey.

Introducing Pagan Easter

Your Choice

Today the pagans of Easter celebrate with an atmosphere of giving and happiness, a renewal of life.

Good Friday and the Christian Easter, on the other hand, represents a time of suffering, their minds filled with the horror of a tortured man dying on lumber and then magicaly rising into heaven like superman for the selfish purpose of getting you into heaven, as long as you flatter God with your own insignificance and suffering.  If you don't accept their beliefs, well, sorry, you go to Hell, a place of eternal torment.

The pagan Easter celebrates happiness and life.  The Christian Easter consecrates suffering and death.

The pagan Easter celebrates a birthday (renewal).  The Christian Easter solemnizes an execution (death).

Pagans give.  Christians take.

Pagans prepare for life.  Christians prepare for an alleged afterlife.

Pagans don't require faith or belief to celebrate life.  Christians, however, require belief in their deicidal mythology.

Which of these practices do you think has the best chance to promote the most good will?

Eggsackly.

Introducing the Age of Limits

Introducing D.A.N.I.E.L

Introducing Introducing Your Food

The BlueGirls® demonstrate how it's done:

Scott, what's your problem?!  Lift your bloody plate up and smile, you douche!

Reluctantly Introducing Scott Berg

(Related to hell-of-a-guy Jasper Berg, no relation to the New York hipster of the same name.)

Introducing the Sentinelese

Meet the Sentinelese of North Sentinel Island, Andaman Islands, Bay of Bengal, London.  They are an uncontacted tribe, said to be interested only in sex, fish, and coconuts.  Sounds like a good life to us here at the BRG.

The Sentinelese have vigorously rejected contact with the outside world for millennia, greeting any ship or helicopter that approaches too close to their shores with a hail of arrows.  Please respect their privacy.  If you must get in touch, drop them an e-mail first.

Reluctantly Introducing Scott Stephens

Liquid Blue Extra! Introducing the BlueBoys®

As with the BlueGirls®, the rhythm section of Liquid Blue has been through more members than a Thai prostitute.  Here are some of our favourite BlueBoy® alumni.

Angelo "The Frisler" Frisina:

Kevin "Winnie" Cooper:

Rodolfo "Rudy" Manzano:

Tim "The Criminal Ear" Breech:

The BlueGirls® Special, Day 7: Introducing the Ghosts of BlueGirls® Past

Unfortunately, we've run out of time for this BlueGirls® Special on the BRG.  If we were to cover every ingénue that has crossed the Liquid Blue casting couch over the years we'd be here till the cows come home.  So, here's a roundup of the best of the rest.  Or as we like to call it, something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.

Starting with the old, then.  Here's the original BlueGirl® herself, Rosie Goldstein.  Rosie now lives in a retirement community in Florida, where she was crowned Miss Palm Beach Mahjong 2009.  Bless.

Something new (compared with Rosie, anyway): leggy blonde Mandy Gasparich.  Sadly, Mandy's career was cut short at an early age due to a curvature of the spine.

Something borrowed: BC Jean was a member of the BlueGirls® for only a short time before her services as a songwriter were commandeered by Beyoncé.

And something blue: Dana Damian rocking the mom jeans.

That's all folks!  Back to our regular scheduled programming tomorrow.

The BlueGirls® Special, Day 6: Introducing Jessica Manning

Apparently, Jessica is sponsored by Midol.  SHE JUST IS, OKAY?!

The BlueGirls® Special wraps up tomorrow on the BRG.  Check in to check them out.

The BlueGirls® Special, Day 5: Introducing Jenny Nowinski

A yes win-ski here at the BRG.  Take it to the bridge, girl!

Meet another young filly from the BlueGirls® stable tomorrow!

The BlueGirls® Special, Day 4: Introducing Summer Muncher

A feisty songstress with a message, according to her own website.  Any season is Muncher season, according to the BRG.

More talented beauty from the BlueGirls® tomorrow!

The BlueGirls® Special, Day 3: Introducing the Asian Chicks

Let's get these three out of the way right now.  I know what you're thinking: three hot Asian chicks in slutty schoolgirl outfits, hanging out 'round the back of a strip mall, what's not to like?  Don't be fooled.  These three are annoying.  Very annoying.

Left to right: Diana Ferrer, Gypsy Gina, DJ Layla Loxa.

Dealt with.  Moving on.

The BlueGirls® Special, Day 2: Introducing Kristen Kelly

Sassy, sexy, and above all confident!

Be sure to check back tomorrow to meet another of the BlueGirls®!

The BlueGirls® Special, Day 1: Introducing Nikki Green

It's June, and that can only mean one thing: the BlueGirls® Special on the BRG!  We start with the leader of the pack, the gorgeous, talented Nikki Green.

Check back tomorrow to meet another all-singing, all-dancing, sassy minx!

Introducing Baking Cakes for the Queen of Heaven

Introducing London

Introducing Stupid Repubs

The ironic thing is, they're not much different to me:

But they call themselves conservative and I call myself a liberal.

Stupid Repubs.